A few friends told me this past week that they 1. thought my blog was great (thanks, friends! encouragement and positive feedback always appreciated! Negative feedback makes me cry. I mean, I guess I should hear it, but...um...crying.) and 2. wanted to see more updates. I gave them this whole, "Oh, I know...I have a ton of posts sort of in my head or in draft form (TRUE!), I just haven't posted yet, I just don't get to it as often as I did the first few week...things are crazy, ya know!" sort of thing and on we went. But it is bigger than that. I mean, obviously, any mom knows that if you want to do anything outside of surviving, you have to be purposeful about it. I am very much in a "surviving not thriving" period of motherhood, and it has taken me awhile to get past the judgey-ness of mommyhood that exists, that I at times create for myself, and to realize that I am not a Pinterest mom even though I so badly want to be. So, below, some reasons for why, in the past week alone, I have spent the week trying to keep my kids alive and not had a chance to blog:
While showering this morning, C tells me J has eaten something he wasn't supposed to, then walks out. Dad is at the store getting me coffee (THANKYOU) so is, at this point, no help. E then runs in to tell me J pinched her, so I ask what he's eaten. She's still screaming because he pinched her, so I get nothing. I call C back in, she reports he took her candy from a parade that was VERY SPECIAL TO HER. Okay, I will give her some other special candy, and he isn't eating prescription painkillers like candy, so I continue with my shower, hurrying even more so b/c if J has gotten into one thing, he will continue until caught by an adult. Do you KNOW how much 2 in 1 dandruff shampoo hurts when it gets into your eyes when you have contacts in, then you try to rinse it with contact STILL in, and apparently are just rubbing it into your eye behind the contact? DO YOU?! I get out of the shower, finally, to discover he has since, in about 4 more minutes, managed to eat 1/2 bag of peanuts (already opened), a bag of gummies (unopened), and has tried to scale the shelves in the fridge to get to the string cheese which is on the top shelf.
J has a scar above one of his eyes from "The Bathtub Incident of '12" in which he thought it unnecessary to sit for any extended period of time, and in fact quite necessary to try to figure skate in the bathtub, so that he lost his balance, fell and caught himself using his face directly above his eye. It bled for what seemed like an eternity, and luckily, I'm the person you want on your side in times of crisis. Do. Not. Pick. The Hubs. Anywho, this day J was not listening well and wanted to swim and ski and vault while in the bathtub so I tried to remind him of this incident by telling the story of how he fell and his eye was cut open, it was bleeding for a long time, we thought he would have to go to the Emergency Room, it was so scary, blah blah blah. He seemed pretty focused, I thought I was making progress. Until he jumped up in the tub, onto the side of the tub, and tried to jump back into the water, fell and hit the back of his head. No blood, no major damage, no concussion, we get out of the tub, address behavior while putting on clothes and the water is draining. Suddenly I hear a splash. "Is that...?" E has decided to sit on the edge of the tub and have her baby doll (you know, the one baby doll that really should never get wet) get a bath. But when the baby floated too far away from her, she realized she wasn't going to be able to reach her if she just was standing, so she quietly took off her socks and rolled up (yes. rolled up.) her pant legs so she could sit on the edge of the tub and give her baby a bath. And closed the drain. Who says these kids don't watch everything you do?
Earlier this week, I had to look like a grown up for work; like dress pants or a skirt or something...i.e. not jeans. Shaving was optimal, washing and conditioning of hair was ideal. I used to be able to take showers at night, but my hair gets all wonky when I sleep and won't cooperate in the morning, so I spend as much time trying to fix it as I do showering and drying it, so that isn't a solution. SO, on this particular morning, the kids are all still sleeping, so I hurry into the shower. I have shampoo in my hair, I start shaving and I hear a scream the likes of which no mother can hear without instantly assuming a child is having a near death experience. I turn off the water to listen and discover that J has taken E's somethingorother, causing her to wake up from her morning slumber, and like her momma, she doesn't deal well when woken prematurely. She flips out, screams at him (this is what I heard), and he runs. Directly into the corner of the bed. I witness the running into the bed while I'm standing in the hallway with a towel wrapped around me, crazy eyed with shampoo in my hair, dripping on the carpet, and he hits the bed and nearly knocks himself out. E is about to get up and keep yelling at him, so I shush her, calm J down and make sure he doesn't have any lasting injuries, he can tell me the name of a few Presidents (sarcasm happens even this early at my house) and we begin our day. All before 6:30am. Also, just to add insult to injury, I ended up going to work that day with one leg 1/2 shaved and one not shaved at all. Luckily I had opted for pants, but really hadn't given it a second thought until the next morning's shower.
See? Bathing in general at my house is scary...I love taking a calm, relaxing bath. I don't know if I've done that since the babies were still inside of me. Otherwise, it is a race against the clock of destruction (otherwise known as my son most days). The irony is that, while in the shower, if I'm not contemplating what disaster awaits me, I have some of my best blog thoughts!
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