Two vs Three

This morning the Hubs took C to an SEC football game (oh, the posts that could come from that...) so I am home with the twins. I decided that I'd try to wear them out by taking them out to eat and then to a playground. As I sit here clearly being mom of the century and not paying attention to them and instead writing a blog post (oops, was that my kid who just did a header off the slide?  Meh, she'll be fine...), I realized just how different life would be with two kids instead of 3 (as if I've never had this thought before...).  When I take three kids alone anywhere I am constantly doing a headcount, a nervous wreck trying to figure out where the missing child has disappeared to (often right in front of me, I just can't count as high as 3). When there are only two, somehow it becomes magically easier.  When C went to her Mimi and Pops' house for VBS for a whole week (!!!!!!) this summer, it was like a whole new world for us.  We got some chores done, the twins were bathed more regularly, fed more consistently, had more individualized attention, etc.  Books were read, clothes were worn, the house smelled less like pee than usual.  (Judge away, you don't know.)  When the babies were little, if I'd take just them out, it was like a treat, and while it was INCREDIBLY stressful, I would jump between pure glee  (I was out with ONLY two babies at a time) and anger and frustration at the people who would look at me in pity, saying, "Oh, my, your hands sure are full."  That was one of moments I felt I really did deserve some sort of award for keeping my mouth shut, because the responses ranged from, "I know, right?  Which babysitting slot would you like to take?"  to "Oh, I have a 2 year old at home.  I expect DHS to visit at any moment."  to just smacking a total stranger in the face.  Let's say that was all because of postpartum hormones and depression.  It makes me seem a little less mean/psychotic.  Now that they are all mobile and more difficult to contain, I kind of long for the days when I could put the babies in their car seats, then fling set the car seats in the bus double stroller and be on our way.  Granted, I still very clearly remember the lack of sleep, the craziness from attempting to breastfeed two babies at once (oh, it is possible, but it WILL make you crazy, especially given our rough start), getting up to feed or soothe one baby while the other slept and then trying to decide if you wake a sleeping baby to maintain your own sanity and stay on a schedule or let the baby sleep because "NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY" (unless you're a mom of multiples.  then wake the kid).   

Again, it isn't as though I haven't had this thought before, and it isn't as though I begrudge a particular child for making us a family of 3...it is simply that having 3 kids, realizing just how STINKING HARD it is having 3 kids, working outside of the home to afford those 3 kids (and the stupid mini van that had to come with them), is exhausting.  I think that if we only had 2 kids, twins or not, I'd be exhausted.  Some days with C, before the babies came, I was truly at my limit.  I read an article the other day that said that parents of 3 were the most stressed.  That parents even with 4 or more kids somehow dealt better with the stresses of parenthood than parents of 3.  I PROMISE, that unless an act of God occurs, we will not be testing that theory.  It is that, on the rare days when I'm shy a kid or two, I appreciate it...I get to do things with them that don't always involve a stressed out mom trying to do a headcount, making sure one of my kids aren't being "that kid" at the playground because I can't keep my eyes on all 3 at the same time. I get to spend more individualized time with one of my little people, I get to giggle with (at) them and focus on their individual personalities a bit more, and hopefully they'll remember the times I took them to eat breakfast at a "restroom" (Restaurant, kids.  Please, please say restaurant)  before going to a playground where they had the run of the thing for a whole 45 minutes before going home to watch their favorite TV show before nap time.  But more likely, they'll wake up from nap and insist we never do anything fun and throw a fit.