Why you not happy?

E is my sweet, caring, more independent twin.  Many days, she could take or leave J's existence, though J needs her to be around him more.  She can play independently better than J, but seems to intuitively know when J needs her more and often will be with him for his sake.  She is my kid who is pretty chill most of the time, but when she feels...anything...she feels it strong.  Her fits aren't as often, but they may last what seems like hours (days...weeks...).  When she's in a silly mood, the giggles are from the deepest part of her belly and she turns red and runs out of breath from laughing so hard.  Tickle her and you'll get the. best. laugh. ever.  But one of my favorites is when she's feeling lovey; she's the sweetest baby ever.  She'll cuddle, she'll play with your hair, she'll hold your hand...she just loves.  The other day, I took the kids to a playground after work and asked them to hold hands while we were in the parking lot.  E grabbed J's hand and held it all the way to the playground, past the parking lot.  When we went for a walk down a path to a pond, she grabbed J's hand again and the cuteness was almost too much.

Tonight, about 1.5 hours past bedtime E announces she's poopy.  I have, by this point, already turned off their bedroom light no fewer than 10 times, threatened their lives and that of their lovies, had a serious conversation about why mommy may need to over medicate herself, and nearly cried because the baby gate was trampled 3 times.  E being poopy MAY just prove to be my breaking point (note, daddy is working late tonight).  I go back, and she smiles the biggest, sweetest smile and says, "Mommy, why you not happy?"

This is the point where I could have this sentimental, reflective moment...my child notices when I'm not happy, I need to remember that she can sense and feel when I'm angry/frustrated/sad, etc....instead, I tell her, "Because you and J and are driving mommy insane.  Let's go change your diaper."  To which she replies, "Oh. Hmmm."  Similar conversations have happened over the past few days.  In Target, with all 3 strapped into a cart, mommy shopping for C's school supplies while all 3 are kicking each other, one is trying to unhook the seatbelt, one is trying to grab things off the shelf and put in the cart, one is upset because the Dora underpants weren't available in her size so she had to settle for My Little Pony...I was ready to ask a Target employee when they would begin stocking hard liquor and could I sample it in the store?  E noticed.  "Mommy, why you not happy?"  "It isn't that I'm not happy.  I'm frustrated because you guys aren't listening and mommy can't get the shopping done.  I tried to do something different because I thought you'd enjoy shopping."   E thinks for a second before saying, "I like shopping.  I sorry.  Watch.  See?  I turned on my listening ears."  If only she had the ability to turn on her siblings' listening ears too...

So back to tonight.  It is now 2.5 hours past their bedtime and all 3 kids are still up.  C reports that the light in J & E's bedroom is on.  Again.  My energy is gone, the fight in me is gone.  I walk back to the bedroom more ready to cry than to scream.
E:  Why you not happy at us?
Me:  *sigh*  Because you keep turning the light on and won't go to sleep.
E:  We leave it off, so you will be happy again?
Me:  yes.
E:  Okay.  (Calmly, as if this wasn't what I had been saying for hours)
 
Two minutes later, from the bedroom, I hear a sweet little voice, in a dark bedroom say, "You still happy now again mommy?"